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Why are grandparents important in a child's life

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Why are grandparents important in a child's life

Have you ever wondered why kids prefer their grandparents over their parents? Grandparents are a reckoning force in a child's life. While parents provide the most loving and secure place a child will ever know, grandparents add an extra special topping.

My maternal grandparents played a huge role in my upbringing. Since a single income wasn't sufficient, my mother had to work too to provide a comfortable life for us children. Thankfully, my maternal grandparents stayed close by and could babysit us. I have very fond memories of the time I spent with them.

My grandpa was like a friend. He seemed like he sided with me when I played mischief, but now when I look back, I can see that he used his experience to mould me into a better person. My grandma was strict yet loving in her way. She was an excellent cook but never had recipes written down. She would let me watch her cook. She'd emphasize how the texture of a dish and its smells are equally important. She'd pamper us, grandchildren, with snacks and savouries now and then.

Time went by at a leisurely pace when I was at their home. They seemed to be available whenever I needed them. I loved my parents but loved being with my grandparents even more. I understood why when I became a parent myself.

Parents as a generation usually end up caring for two generations-their parents and children. Being providers and caregivers can be stressful, with factors like job, expenses, children's education, health, vacation, social standing, lifestyle, etc., playing an influencing role. Often, therefore, parenting feels less fun and more like a contest. Parents miss seeing the larger picture because they focus on the impact of their million decisions on their children's future.

Looking back, I can see why my grandparents did not fuss over my mistakes and bad behaviour. They would let me go with a tiny reprimand. That's because they do not treat every situation as an opportunity to teach or build values in the child. The way my parents respond to my child as grandparents corroborates my observation.

My parents are way more relaxed as grandparents and similarly indulge my children. They are the doting grandparents I had. Grandchildren's tantrums do not rattle them as much, and they sometimes even go behind our backs to indulge the children. They let my son win at games when they sense he's about to lose and is upset about it. As a parent, I want my son to learn to lose graciously and be a good sport. I want to teach him life lessons while my parents cater to the child's needs.

When I scold my son for watching too much TV instead of studying, my mother tells me I must cut the poor boy slack because he was at school all day. And my father tells me I shouldn't raise my voice so much. It amuses me to no end because I remember how they, as parents, reacted to a similar situation. I certainly don't remember being let off so easily!

Grandparents are always cooler than your parents because they are not the direct influencers, their decisions for you aren't hanging by the thread of far-reaching consequences. They come from a place of contentment and experience of having gone through it all as parents once. They get a chance to re-parent without the pressure and demands.

Children also cherish this special relationship with people who know their parents' faults and shortcomings. They can even share secrets about the favourite person they have in common. They see their parents as humans who can err even as they enjoy stable support from their grandparents. Grandparents can become a child's best friend because they share a unique bond. I sincerely hope every child gets to experience life with grandparents.

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A society that cares for its senior citizens is a civilized and enlightened society. The aging happens on its own without any prompting from our side! It is an issue of mind over matter…if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!

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    Tamil Nadu 641010
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